Amnesia in South America (a song)

Amnesia in South America,

Gettin' lost in the jungles of your mind.

Amnesia in south america,

making your way back so hard to find.

Leaving is the hardest thing to do,

even with someone to see you through.

This is all that you have ever known.

Nothing else could ever seem like home.

Amnesia in south america,

getting lost in the jungles of your mind.

Amnesia in south america,

making your way back so hard to find.

Your way back...

Kars (not a typo)

I walked & walked, far away,

How far it was I cannot say.

I sat myself upon the ground,

Though little solace could be found.

Down the road, in the distance far,

The shining headlights of a car.

Closer toward me with every breath,

to save me from my thoughts of death.

When stopped nearby it seemed to be

My saving grace had come for me.

Upon my standing I clearly knew

My salvation was just passing through

The Car had stopped, but not to stay,

The Stop sign had to be obeyed

The Car moved on but I did not,

I just sat down, lost; forgot.

The Fall

My feet left the metal of the bridge. I was falling through the air, through the dark. As I fell memories crowded my mind. The homework I was supposed to do, the merit badges I should have worked on, all the stop signs that I didn’t stop at. They clouded my brain and darkened my mind. Then I hit the water and I was free.

Wet Feet

Missy stood in the reception line and faked a smile for the people who wanted to congratulate her. Most of them she didn’t even know and most of the ones she did know she didn’t like very much. They came and went making small talk, exchanging hugs. She couldn’t wait for it to be over.

She was happy of course; this was her wedding day after all, and it was everything she’d ever dreamed it would be. She had picked out the chapel when she was a little girl, the flowers were perfect, the music, the atmosphere; everything was so perfect. Yet still there was an uneasiness in the back of her mind that she couldn’t seem to shake. While Missy had been greeting people she had been trying to figure out what this uncomfort was. When she pinned her finger on it; fear. Though she knew the feeling she couldn’t figure out the reason.

Being loyal didn’t scare her one bit, she loved the idea of spending the rest of your life with just one other person. Even divorce didn’t scare her, she knew that in all likelihood her chances of actually staying together for the rest of their lives was less than half. It wasn’t sharing everything, it wasn’t the fact that she’d probably have to quit her job when the babies came. Then for the second time that day something clicked. It was Will.

“I love Will…” she said under her breath. It was true too. They’d been dating for over 2 years, and they’d been through some tough times. There was even once when she suspected he was cheating on her. It wasn’t true, and though Will was offended and hurt, he forgave her in an instant. She kept the idea rolling in her head and thought that perhaps it wasn’t Will but the idea that maybe there was someone better, someone more fitted for her life. The idea of the ideal man lingered in her head. He wasn’t the ripped man that many women might imagine, in fact she thought very little about his body. She thought about how he would treat her. How he would just know when something is wrong. How they could be so in sync.

Her thoughts had lead her completely away from her reception, and it was time for the bride and groom’s first dance. She walked elegantly to the center of the floor and took Wills hand, and rested her head on his shoulder; and almost as if he read her mind she heard him whisper softly “I'll try” It was then she realized that although will wasn’t the “perfect” he was exactly what she needed.

As the Crow Flies

The scent filled the crows mind; he knew that there was food nearby. He flew to a small branch and looked around, there was a carcass in a small clearing in the woods so he flew down and pecked at what little meat was left on the measly body. Other animals had gotten to it first, and there wasn’t much left. The crow never thought twice (or even once) about what exactly (or who) he was eating. Nor did he notice the revolver lying next to the body.

Isaac’s head was bowed at the funeral. His dad was his world, his hero, his champion, his everything and now he was gone. A fist full of dirt on the grave to symbolize letting go, though in his mind and heart he knew he could never let go.

The next few weeks were a daze he didn’t go to school, he didn’t go to work; he barely went outside for weeks at a time. Eliza tried to be understanding, but at school she kept getting questions about Isaac; Things like “Hey what’s up with Isaac? How’s he doin?” or “Hey when’s Isaac coming back?” after all he was a popular kid and people genuinely missed him at school. One day Eliza knocked on Isaac’s door and sat down with him and tried to talk him into coming back, but like always it was no use, he couldn’t get over his dad. That’s when she told him that they had to stop seeing each other. It was stupid of her and she realized it, but it couldn’t work anymore. She wasn’t willing to put her life on hold for a boy who she’d only been with for two weeks before his dad died. So she broke it to him as soft as she could, she never mentioned the boy she’d been seeing while Isaac moped at home. She didn’t tell him about the dates they’d been on, or the kisses they’d shared. She simply said “Isaac I think you know what I’m going to say. This isn’t working” Then kissed his cheek softly and she was gone.

Two days later, after he’d thought about it, Isaac left the house, with no plans in particular but that day he left the house with his dad’s gun. A revolver that had been passed down through 3 generations, he knew where his dad kept it. It was in the study and since Isaac’s mom hadn’t dared touched the study for fear of heartbreak all over again, it hadn’t been moved. So he left into the mountains, with a backpack and an unbearable weight of grief.

He found a grove of trees, who knows how many miles into the wilderness. He’d walked all day. He sat down exhausted. He thought about his dad. He thought about Eliza, he thought about life in general, he looked up at the sky, the overcast seemed full of rain, but somehow knew that if it let loose it’s bounty, it would send Isaac over the edge. But at that moment, one rouge raindrop fell from the sky and opened the flood gates. It poured and poured and poured, and Isaac just sat there, when he felt something inside him click, not a snap as people often say. Just a feeling, he rose to his knees and pointed the gun to his head and said “God please receive me”. That’s when selfishness took over and a trigger was pulled, Isaac Rowley was gone, and left was just a corpse for the wilderness to devour, and the next day a crow would happen upon him and pick off what meat was left on his bones.